The author reflects on their decision to alter their holiday plans in light of the evolving political landscape and personal experiences over the past few years. Living in Montana with their family, they traditionally travel to Texas to spend Christmas with their mother and stepfather every even year. However, the contrast between the relaxed atmosphere in Montana, filled with snow and cherished traditions like a cookie-making contest, and the complicated political dynamics with their conservative family in Texas has led the author to reassess the importance of these family gatherings. The tension surrounding political discussions, especially since Donald Trump’s election in 2016, has significantly impacted the author’s willingness to engage with their family during the holidays.
The political landscape has shifted the way many view family gatherings, with increased conversations around setting boundaries. In an increasingly polarized environment, individuals are reconsidering the imperative of spending time with relatives whose beliefs differ sharply from their own. The author shares anecdotes from a Facebook group for evangelical Christians, illustrating how others are also navigating the decision to engage or detach from politically divergent family members during the holidays. This opens up a reflection on how much the political climate has forced individuals to reassess long-held traditions and familial obligations.
The author recalls feeling increasingly strained during family visits post-Trump’s election, as discussions centered around political differences became inevitable. They grappled with their family members’ support for Trump, particularly as someone who has faced discrimination as a mixed-race Hispanic woman. The disconnect between her family’s values and her own prompted an internal struggle, leading to feelings of alienation and frustration when faced with the consequences of the Trump administration’s policies, such as family separation and environmental neglect. The author understood that their family’s underwhelming reaction to these issues signified deep underlying disagreements and perceptions that could not be ignored anymore.
In preparation for this year’s holidays, the author reflects on their historical reluctance to opt-out of family gatherings, stemming from a desire to reconnect with loved ones despite political divisions. Experiencing heightened animosity and lack of understanding from their family has made the thought of gathering for the holidays increasingly untenable. The author compares their evolving perspective with insights from Brent Love, an author who has navigated similarly complex family dynamics, highlighting the necessity of prioritizing self-care and emotional safety over obligatory interactions that risk personal well-being.
Love’s advice—not to sacrifice one’s own emotional health for familial acceptance—resonated powerfully with the author. Stress and physical discomfort signal the need for boundaries when engaging with family, especially if those relationships are fraught with tension. The realization that one’s authentic self should not be compromised for the sake of familial bonds has led to a more empowered decision-making process about spending holidays. In light of this, the author has decided that this year will be spent home in Montana, allowing for a more peaceful and enjoyable holiday experience.
Ultimately, the author emphasizes that while the holidays may traditionally represent family unity, the significance of emotional safety and authenticity cannot be overlooked. The choice to remain in Montana symbolizes a commitment to cultivating a nurturing and joyful environment, free from the weight of unresolved political divides. In doing so, the author finds solace in the uncomplicated pleasures of family traditions—complete with irreverent cookie designs—illustrating the importance of creating spaces where one can express their true identity, particularly when familial bonds become fraught in times of political tension.